Ballsy Types Joining the Idiot Alert Files

I've found a whole new group in urgent need of membership in the Idiot Alert Files. I refer specifically to those numbnuts who are slapping down cold, hard cash to buy testicle implants for their dogs and cats. Made of polyprophylene, these bogus balls are meant to replicate in size, shape and weight the testicles of an animal that has just been neutered. Available in different sizes, they are implanted when the neutering is done and, of course, add to the price tag of the whole procedure. The manufacturers of said ersatz body parts assure prospective buyers that a dog or cat will miss their lopped-off parts and perhaps even descend into a maelstrom of depressed anxiety over their whereabouts. Ponying up for these substitutes, however, will allow your four-footed male companion to continue licking what he thinks are his own privates, to his lifelong delight.
This is where the idiocy comes in. The question is, who the hell buys phony balls for their pet when they could spend the money instead on something that could mean the difference between life and death itself for one of their own species? The answer is, a full-fledged, brain-dead member of the Idiot Alert Files.
Especially when you know that the manufacturers of the aforementioned lets-pretend jingle bells makes it known that the sizing of your dog's family jewels can be enlarged by up to 20%, you know you're dealing with an idiot if these examples of profligate consumerism show up on the vet's bill. Needing to have your dog or cat spend the rest of his life trying to waddle his back legs around equipment nature never intended him to be saddled with says something kind of sick and sad about the pet's owner.