Sunday Go-To-Meetin'

   You drag out your best duds for that Sunday morning worship, of course, but you want to be sure that your threads are right up to the latest minute, too. You need to check out the lovely summer line being presented by Bogota couturier Miguel Caballero, especially if you and your'n are in the middle of an eight decade-long family feud with the McCoys. You just never know when those boys are gonna' bust in on you, with guns blazing in every direction. That's why you gotta' hook up with this good ol' boy, Miguel.
   We should clear up something first. I know Caballero sounds like one of them thar furrin' names, but the word actually means "cowboy" so Miguel probably is a real good ol' boy. Anyway, seems he is one good entrepreneur, given he saw a need in the market and filled it, by creating and selling body-armour tuxedoes to the drug-lords in Colombia. Only problem is, what with the C.I.A. messin' around in Colombia and all, it's gettin' to be a safer place and the bottom is falling out of the Cowboy's sales, so he's turning his attention to the U.S. of A. hoping for his line to be a big "hit", so to speak, with bodyguards, business execs, and even gang members. He's coming out with bullet-proof tuxes, sports jackets, suede jackets, and raincoats.
   Before you lay your money down, how can be sure you'll be getting value for your greenback? Well, it seems this here Caballero is already pitching his goods in 'Eye-rack', and sales are so brisk, he's looking to expand through the whole Middle East. Now if his duds can stop the kind of bullets whizzin' all round everybody's head off there in that furrin' hell-hole, they're sho-nuff gonna' fill the bill for your Sunday go-to-meetin' suit.