Safer Schools?
"Every student has the right to feel safe and be safe in school and on school grounds," says Ontario's Education Minister Gerard Kennedy in an announcement made this week. The government plans to spend $9 million in the 2004-05 school year to put into place their plan to make the schools of Ontario safer places. The plan includes the installation of electronic monitoring devices and bullying hotlines.
I hope all this will achieve something good, but I don't have a whole lot of faith in it. I think it's a bit of a band-aid being slapped onto a huge gaping sore. The reason I have these doubts is because I have been out there on the front lines. I have seen the way this whole problem is handled by the people who are as important or even more important than those cameras are going to be. I'm talking about the school staff, the teachers and the principals above all. I'm thinking back over way too many times when I have seen these front-line workers let the kids down, badly. More than not, our kids are out there on their own. The teachers are too often useless as allies in a victim's struggle to survive, and the principals are just as often no better. The seemingly impossible has to be done somehow. We have to get these people involved and caring, and ready to fight. If we don't, all the cameras you want can be installed, but they will not provide the looked-for protection. Think about it. The bullies are not totally stupid. They will know about the cameras, like everyone else, and all they will have to do is make sure they carry out their vicious little campaigns in places where there is no spying electronic eye. The lens may capture some incidents on film, but they will be the minority.
"They set themselves up to be bullied" Ever heard that line? I have and it enrages me. The people who have said it to me were former colleagues. No-one sets themselves up to be tormented and harassed, sometimes to the point of suicide. Anyone who accepts that line is f-ing stupid. You know what? That describes way too many of the people standing at the front of your sons' or daughters' classrooms. I could go on with a list longer than you'd have time to read. I can tell stories of kids who were suffering when they came to my grade eight classroom, kids who had no faith that there was any help for them, kids that I went to battle for. I'm no saint. I just couldn't stand by and see these kids endlessly unhappy, without trying to help. Where were all the other teachers the kids had before me" Why hadn't they done something?
When I had kids in my room who were being victimized, I always started by telling them they did not need to tackle the problem alone. I always told them to come and talk to me. Too many times their response was, "Teachers always say that, but they never do anything." How awful that they should feel the situation was hopeless! A male student that I taught once had a stutter. It wasn't the worst one you've ever heard, but it must have felt like that for him. He wouldn't even answer questions in class at the beginning of the year. When asked something, his response was always the same. He shrugged his shoulders and would say nothing. After marking his books several times, I knew this was a smart individual, and I began to investigate the situation. Talking to him one-on-one at quiet times finally allowed me the chance to hear him, and hear the stutter. That was when we began to work together to remediate things for him. It took more than a couple of session of stopping the whole class, (whether or not the schedule said it was supposed to be math time or whatever else), to discuss the concept of the golden rule. Those discussions took many forms, but they always came back to the same idea. No-one has the right to purposely make another's life miserable. Another year, a student of mine was a boy born with a cleft palate. The marks were there on his upper lip for anyone to see, the marks that set him apart from anyone with a cruel heart. By the time he walked into my room, he had encountered more than a lifetime's worth of that kind. His response to me was the same as the boy with the stutter. A student I had still another year was a wonderful girl, warm and friendly, if anyone gave her the chance, but almost no-one did. Her problem? Well, she was "too tall" not fashionably slim or fashionably attired, and "too smart". She was already so self-deprecating, it was heartbreaking. When I spoke with her, her reaction was the same. Each one of these kids was with a group of students that they had started kindergarten with. The groups stayed more or less the same, with only a few changes, until they graduated from grade eight. If the child came to the kindergarten with the "problem" and the teacher there was not a front-line fighter, then good chances are that the die was cast and the pattern set for years of isolation, and torment. Sometimes the transfer to high school was the only hope they had for things to get better. That's wrong, totally wrong, but how do we fix it? Not with cameras alone, as far as I am concerned. I am not even sure what can be done exactly, but I know it has to come more from those staff members who too often sit on their fat asses and do nothing.
I wear glasses. I have since my own year in kindergarten. If I take them off, the iris of the left eye may wander over toward the inner corner of my eye. It's not drastic, but you can see it happening. I've paid my own dues because of it, but when I became a teacher, I finally found the silver lining in that particular cloud. The first year that I went to bat for a student of mine who was being victimized, I quickly found that appealing to reason was getting me nowhere. Without thinking it through first, I went up nose-to-nose with one of the ringleaders, and took off my glasses. I stared at them in silence for a moment while they and the whole class wondered what was coming next. Then, in a calm voice I said, "Go ahead. You're looking at someone who's just right for you to make fun of, aren't you? Go ahead and do it. If you want to make fun of someone, make fun of me. I look different. I don't "fit in", do I? Make fun, but just do it right to my face. Tell me how dumb I look. Go ahead." I have played that scene out more than once in my years in intermediate classrooms, and every time it has been the same. The "chosen one" I squared off with has stood there in silence. There was no making fun. The least I ever got was stony silence. The most I ever got was a student breaking down in tears, and offering me and her former victim profuse apologies right on the spot. Even if all it seemed that I got for my efforts was that silence, I found that it was instead a door being opened, a door that the whole class could begin to walk through together. It was a doorway into freedom for everyone. Every group I worked with found that after a while, they all felt more liberated to be themselves in the class, to be less afraid of what the others might say or how they would respond. Every group I worked with gradually drew closer together. Some managed it much better than others, but it worked for them all. I had parents more than once who sat in tears in my room during interview time, thanking me for the difference I had made in their child's life. As I said before, I am no saint. It was just that I could not let it go on, and so I had to try as best I could to help.
The successes I did achieve came at quite a price to me. I finally slammed into the brickwall of burnout. One of the big reasons why that happened was that most of the time, I was fighting the battle on my own. The other teachers were so constantly in denial. "We don't have any bullying in our school" they would mouth endlessly. The principals were no better. If you have read my blog before, you have seen the entry about the principal who failed to call the police to investigate a letter of threat aimed at several classmates by one of my students. You would also have read about how angry he was when he found out that I did call the police. Last year, the situation was dishearteningly similar. One day, a couple of the boys in my room were loudly discussing the breasts of several of the girls. They had not seen me behind them. When I went to the principal about it, he did nothing. Have you ever heard of the nightmares called "rating halls" in the high schools? That's where this situation was headed. It shouldn't have been allowed to happen, but it was. Now you tell me, how would an electronic monitoring system help with that one? Last year as well, a boy in the room devoted a great deal of his time to tormenting one of the girls. More than once when I went for help, the response was "I'll talk to him". Big help that was. All the little shit had to do was sit there for a few minutes and wait for the principal to finally shut up, then go on his merry way. When some of the boys threatened me with physical harm, guess who ended up calling the police? Once again, I was berated for having done so. How would a camera on the wall have ameliorated that situation? No, I think those cameras will help perhaps with apprehending the perpetrators AFTER the fact, but that won't make better a life that has been shattered. When are we going to do something BEFORE the fact? If those "bully hotlines" aren't lines straight to the police, then I don't believe they will be any particular help at all. We need something not much short of a miracle in our schools before they really do become safer, better places where every one of the students can be happy.
I hope all this will achieve something good, but I don't have a whole lot of faith in it. I think it's a bit of a band-aid being slapped onto a huge gaping sore. The reason I have these doubts is because I have been out there on the front lines. I have seen the way this whole problem is handled by the people who are as important or even more important than those cameras are going to be. I'm talking about the school staff, the teachers and the principals above all. I'm thinking back over way too many times when I have seen these front-line workers let the kids down, badly. More than not, our kids are out there on their own. The teachers are too often useless as allies in a victim's struggle to survive, and the principals are just as often no better. The seemingly impossible has to be done somehow. We have to get these people involved and caring, and ready to fight. If we don't, all the cameras you want can be installed, but they will not provide the looked-for protection. Think about it. The bullies are not totally stupid. They will know about the cameras, like everyone else, and all they will have to do is make sure they carry out their vicious little campaigns in places where there is no spying electronic eye. The lens may capture some incidents on film, but they will be the minority.
"They set themselves up to be bullied" Ever heard that line? I have and it enrages me. The people who have said it to me were former colleagues. No-one sets themselves up to be tormented and harassed, sometimes to the point of suicide. Anyone who accepts that line is f-ing stupid. You know what? That describes way too many of the people standing at the front of your sons' or daughters' classrooms. I could go on with a list longer than you'd have time to read. I can tell stories of kids who were suffering when they came to my grade eight classroom, kids who had no faith that there was any help for them, kids that I went to battle for. I'm no saint. I just couldn't stand by and see these kids endlessly unhappy, without trying to help. Where were all the other teachers the kids had before me" Why hadn't they done something?
When I had kids in my room who were being victimized, I always started by telling them they did not need to tackle the problem alone. I always told them to come and talk to me. Too many times their response was, "Teachers always say that, but they never do anything." How awful that they should feel the situation was hopeless! A male student that I taught once had a stutter. It wasn't the worst one you've ever heard, but it must have felt like that for him. He wouldn't even answer questions in class at the beginning of the year. When asked something, his response was always the same. He shrugged his shoulders and would say nothing. After marking his books several times, I knew this was a smart individual, and I began to investigate the situation. Talking to him one-on-one at quiet times finally allowed me the chance to hear him, and hear the stutter. That was when we began to work together to remediate things for him. It took more than a couple of session of stopping the whole class, (whether or not the schedule said it was supposed to be math time or whatever else), to discuss the concept of the golden rule. Those discussions took many forms, but they always came back to the same idea. No-one has the right to purposely make another's life miserable. Another year, a student of mine was a boy born with a cleft palate. The marks were there on his upper lip for anyone to see, the marks that set him apart from anyone with a cruel heart. By the time he walked into my room, he had encountered more than a lifetime's worth of that kind. His response to me was the same as the boy with the stutter. A student I had still another year was a wonderful girl, warm and friendly, if anyone gave her the chance, but almost no-one did. Her problem? Well, she was "too tall" not fashionably slim or fashionably attired, and "too smart". She was already so self-deprecating, it was heartbreaking. When I spoke with her, her reaction was the same. Each one of these kids was with a group of students that they had started kindergarten with. The groups stayed more or less the same, with only a few changes, until they graduated from grade eight. If the child came to the kindergarten with the "problem" and the teacher there was not a front-line fighter, then good chances are that the die was cast and the pattern set for years of isolation, and torment. Sometimes the transfer to high school was the only hope they had for things to get better. That's wrong, totally wrong, but how do we fix it? Not with cameras alone, as far as I am concerned. I am not even sure what can be done exactly, but I know it has to come more from those staff members who too often sit on their fat asses and do nothing.
I wear glasses. I have since my own year in kindergarten. If I take them off, the iris of the left eye may wander over toward the inner corner of my eye. It's not drastic, but you can see it happening. I've paid my own dues because of it, but when I became a teacher, I finally found the silver lining in that particular cloud. The first year that I went to bat for a student of mine who was being victimized, I quickly found that appealing to reason was getting me nowhere. Without thinking it through first, I went up nose-to-nose with one of the ringleaders, and took off my glasses. I stared at them in silence for a moment while they and the whole class wondered what was coming next. Then, in a calm voice I said, "Go ahead. You're looking at someone who's just right for you to make fun of, aren't you? Go ahead and do it. If you want to make fun of someone, make fun of me. I look different. I don't "fit in", do I? Make fun, but just do it right to my face. Tell me how dumb I look. Go ahead." I have played that scene out more than once in my years in intermediate classrooms, and every time it has been the same. The "chosen one" I squared off with has stood there in silence. There was no making fun. The least I ever got was stony silence. The most I ever got was a student breaking down in tears, and offering me and her former victim profuse apologies right on the spot. Even if all it seemed that I got for my efforts was that silence, I found that it was instead a door being opened, a door that the whole class could begin to walk through together. It was a doorway into freedom for everyone. Every group I worked with found that after a while, they all felt more liberated to be themselves in the class, to be less afraid of what the others might say or how they would respond. Every group I worked with gradually drew closer together. Some managed it much better than others, but it worked for them all. I had parents more than once who sat in tears in my room during interview time, thanking me for the difference I had made in their child's life. As I said before, I am no saint. It was just that I could not let it go on, and so I had to try as best I could to help.
The successes I did achieve came at quite a price to me. I finally slammed into the brickwall of burnout. One of the big reasons why that happened was that most of the time, I was fighting the battle on my own. The other teachers were so constantly in denial. "We don't have any bullying in our school" they would mouth endlessly. The principals were no better. If you have read my blog before, you have seen the entry about the principal who failed to call the police to investigate a letter of threat aimed at several classmates by one of my students. You would also have read about how angry he was when he found out that I did call the police. Last year, the situation was dishearteningly similar. One day, a couple of the boys in my room were loudly discussing the breasts of several of the girls. They had not seen me behind them. When I went to the principal about it, he did nothing. Have you ever heard of the nightmares called "rating halls" in the high schools? That's where this situation was headed. It shouldn't have been allowed to happen, but it was. Now you tell me, how would an electronic monitoring system help with that one? Last year as well, a boy in the room devoted a great deal of his time to tormenting one of the girls. More than once when I went for help, the response was "I'll talk to him". Big help that was. All the little shit had to do was sit there for a few minutes and wait for the principal to finally shut up, then go on his merry way. When some of the boys threatened me with physical harm, guess who ended up calling the police? Once again, I was berated for having done so. How would a camera on the wall have ameliorated that situation? No, I think those cameras will help perhaps with apprehending the perpetrators AFTER the fact, but that won't make better a life that has been shattered. When are we going to do something BEFORE the fact? If those "bully hotlines" aren't lines straight to the police, then I don't believe they will be any particular help at all. We need something not much short of a miracle in our schools before they really do become safer, better places where every one of the students can be happy.
1 Comments:
I hope your post reaches many -- there need not be victims at school. Unfortunately, the school system needs a radical overhaul before any lasting change is made. You, and the few teachers like you, can't win the fight alone. Many teachers who are in the profession today, are there because of the summer vacation and the pension plan. Most should be fired. We, as a society, need to make some changes as well. We don't value the rearing of the next generation as much as we should.
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