Holy Gadgets, Batman!
We'll start off slow and easy. If you're afraid of getting a case of avian flu from your cell phone, follow the lead of South Korean schoolgirls. They are heading to Myungdong Street for the solution to the problem. For female subscribers only, KTF is offering complimentary disinfecting. The phone is placed into a Karis UV Sterilizer for three minutes. The ultraviolet light destroys any dastardly germs skulking about on your phone. The light does not penetrate the phone's surface, so e-mail and digicam shots are safe.
Look! Is it a Star Trek tricorder? No, it's a hand-held scanner that uses x-ray fluoroscopy to analyze chemical composition. What's it used for, you ask? Well, to an archaeologist, it's a real boon. Instead of taking part of some precious artefact and grinding it up for analysis, they can use the Niton scanner to shoot radiation at the item and get back read-outs on any of 30 different elements that may be present. It can be used in forensics for trace analysis and by geologists to map deposists of ore. It isn't as if I'm ever going to use this thing in this world or the next, but I just love the look of it. Can't you just see Captain Kirk with one in hand right now?
OK, now for the stuff that boggles my mind. These gadgets are for the real he-men who want to ensure that nothing living in the woods will be able to escape when they come a-hunting. For $270.00, Western Rivers Predation (gotta' love that name!) offers a remote-controlled MP3 player boasting a 32-Mbyte hard drive preloaded with "proven" calls. These gems include everything from coyote challenges, cottontail distress, and dominant buck grunts to "doe estrus bleat heavy". Thank heavens these macho gun-toters have a sense of fair play. In case they should find themselves squaring off with some ornery beast that just won't come to the call and lie down at their feet while they take aim, they can slap down $453.00 on the counter before they leave the good ol' boys' hunting emporium and buy themselves one of them thar' Horus Vision's Ballistics systems. TRAG Aiming Point software on a handheld device "will give uncanny long range accuracy". It just piques my curiosity to find the info for this wonder of wildlife destruction detailed at a website with "snipersystems" in its name. Who did you say was their target (no pun intended) market? Back to the system. If the intrepid hunter enters altitude, barometric pressure, temperature, wind speed and humidity data, this baby will help them shoot the wee beasties from more than two miles away. If only the hunter in Disney's "Bambi" had been thus equipped. He could have shot the whole damn herd in that infamous scene, instead of just one doe, and saved a lot of film and hours of salary owing to the animation department!
Look! Is it a Star Trek tricorder? No, it's a hand-held scanner that uses x-ray fluoroscopy to analyze chemical composition. What's it used for, you ask? Well, to an archaeologist, it's a real boon. Instead of taking part of some precious artefact and grinding it up for analysis, they can use the Niton scanner to shoot radiation at the item and get back read-outs on any of 30 different elements that may be present. It can be used in forensics for trace analysis and by geologists to map deposists of ore. It isn't as if I'm ever going to use this thing in this world or the next, but I just love the look of it. Can't you just see Captain Kirk with one in hand right now?
OK, now for the stuff that boggles my mind. These gadgets are for the real he-men who want to ensure that nothing living in the woods will be able to escape when they come a-hunting. For $270.00, Western Rivers Predation (gotta' love that name!) offers a remote-controlled MP3 player boasting a 32-Mbyte hard drive preloaded with "proven" calls. These gems include everything from coyote challenges, cottontail distress, and dominant buck grunts to "doe estrus bleat heavy". Thank heavens these macho gun-toters have a sense of fair play. In case they should find themselves squaring off with some ornery beast that just won't come to the call and lie down at their feet while they take aim, they can slap down $453.00 on the counter before they leave the good ol' boys' hunting emporium and buy themselves one of them thar' Horus Vision's Ballistics systems. TRAG Aiming Point software on a handheld device "will give uncanny long range accuracy". It just piques my curiosity to find the info for this wonder of wildlife destruction detailed at a website with "snipersystems" in its name. Who did you say was their target (no pun intended) market? Back to the system. If the intrepid hunter enters altitude, barometric pressure, temperature, wind speed and humidity data, this baby will help them shoot the wee beasties from more than two miles away. If only the hunter in Disney's "Bambi" had been thus equipped. He could have shot the whole damn herd in that infamous scene, instead of just one doe, and saved a lot of film and hours of salary owing to the animation department!
2 Comments:
I like the last one. I think that perhaps the military came up with this stuff, and it just didn't work in the jungle. Or the military didn't come up with it and wished they did.
As for Captain Kirk's tricorder (and I think it looks more like the kind Commander Riker would carry) -- a better invention would have been the phaser. You wouldn't have to use it to kill people -- just set it on stun. When you encounter some bore, fire away!
You could always just do reasearch on bullets, and read the blogs at http://www.madogre.com/News.html. All the stuff about guns, it just ain't happening, nothing can imporive bad aim.
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